We hate being wrong, it’s a fact and saying sorry is much worse because it puts us in a vulnerable spot. We hate seeing those who wronged us get their way and live their lives because we constantly wish they were punished for whatever wrongdoing they did to us.
Forgiveness is tricky. Sometimes we say we forgive someone through gritted teeth but we don’t mean it. Other times, we choose not to forgive at all. People get this horrible idea that forgiving means losing, but that’s not the truth. Forgiveness sets us free from a bitterness that can take hold of our lives.
We harbor all these harsh feelings thinking that we are creating damage to the other person, but it is just making us so sour. One of my favorite quotes, which sounds better in Spanish is, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other to die.” We tend to keep in all this hurt thinking it’s damaging the other person but it’s having the opposite effect.
Forgiveness is important because it’s an expectation we have. In the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:12 it says,” And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” This is saying that God is forgiving us, just as we have forgiven others. We are being held responsible, so if we don’t forgive, we are doing a disservice to God. Later on in Matthew 6:14-15, it further clarifies that we have to forgiven when someone does something to us because God forgives us, and if we don’t God won’t forgive us.
This goes back to harboring feelings, thinking that we are somehow taking revenge on the person that hurt us. We’re not doing anything but damaging ourselves, getting angry, and not living peacefully. Admit it, you probably creep on the page of the person that hurt you and roll your eyes and go back to the problem that caused your annoyance. That person will never know what you’re doing, and most likely will go on with their lives while you are shaking your fist at their memory.
I’ve been put in horrible situations years ago and I tried to act like I was above the whole situation, even though I wasn’t. I was pretentious and would respond wittily whenever the other people were involved. Besides being slightly immature, I would say I forgave them, but in reality I was far from it and would get annoyed when people wouldn’t get on my side to reproach the others. All I was doing was living uncomfortably and putting the people around me in an awkward situation, while for the others I was most likely out of sight and out of mind. It took a lot to ask myself what I was doing, what was I even gaining from being bothered all the time, and I knew it was time to let it go. The peace that came from it was unreal and it made me realize how much time is wasted on holding grudges that get us nowhere.The truth about forgiveness is that it seems that we're giving in but it sets us free. Click To Tweet
The truth about forgiveness is that, although it may seem that we’re giving in to the other person, in reality we are setting ourselves free. Forgiveness is hard and it requires you to look into yourself deeply, and it may take time, but when you do, you will release all these feelings and let the other person deal with their end of it. They may say sorry or they may not, but that’s on them, you will be able to move on and they will have to come to terms on their end at some point. Don’t dwell on the things of the past and let it affect where you will be in the future and the kind of person you can be.
Lewis B. Smedes said it the best by saying, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” So forgive. Forgive them even if they’re not sorry. Forgive them and in some case, they will see their wrongdoing. But regardless, forgive, for your own sake, for the people around you, and for your spiritual life.
Don’t forget to read my last post on why social media and gratification. Make sure to share your thoughts with me below!