In Over My Head

In Over My Head

I always tell myself that I don’t buy into personality quizzes. Yet I’ve taken the Myers Briggs test (INFJ — yeah I’m rare), the Enneagram (I’m a 6 so I overthink a lot), and have even taken the Love Languages test (words of affirmation is my top one). I’m always trying to rationalize why I am the way I am. I need an explanation for everything.

The danger with this is that I tend to act upon who I think myself as. I always need to know why I’m reacting a certain way to things. After just trying to justify myself a certain way due to a personality test, God told me to stop. In a much more harsher way, just saying.

Then the song In Over My Head (Crash over Me) by Bethel was in my head all the time and I realized God was trying to tell me something. Get ready for this run on sentence. God was reminding me that I wasn’t trying to figure out who I was and why I do things but trying to control things in my life that I didn’t trust Him in and all I needed to do what jump all in to our relationship and genuinely just enjoy who He is and everything will flow out of that.

Letting Go Makes Sense

I talked about some of this on Instagram but there’s a lot more to it. I like distractions in my life because I’m trying to make sense of things in my own way. But God challenged me and asked if He would be enough if I lost my position and who I thought I was and just be happy in Him. There was a lot I had to let go that seemed good. But if it was taking me away from seeking God, even though I thought it brought me to God, then it wasn’t the thing for me.

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My seasons always have one song that sticks out to me. That’s why this Bethel song just spoke to me. I’m letting go not in a bad way but letting things go because I know diving into all God is, is going to be way better. Even if things aren’t certain, just dwelling in God’s presence will bring such joy and reassurance.

And This is Where I Find Myself

Honestly, it’s not easy to just jump in and rest in all God is. But it’s worth it. I’m learning to not do things by my own way and be stressed. At the end of it all, whatever God has for me is much better than what I can do by myself. The only thing that matters is God’s presence in your life.

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Matthew 16:26 ESV

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