I like new things. New shoes, clothes, friends, adventures, etc. New is always fun and lately, I can sense a new season in my life. I’ve never been so aware of a new chapter starting, so although I’m excited for the new, I actually feel anxious. It’s just so strange to me to actually see it all happening. It’s like those movie scenes where the person is standing still and everything moves past them like a blur. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re in a new season until you’re fully in it and notice things are different. But in a way, I’m glad that I’m noticing it happen because I feel like I can prepare for whatever is coming.
Subtly, God messed with my plans. He does that often to me. I had a whole image of how life was going to be like at the moment but none of that came true. I’m a dreamer. It’s part of who I am. I create stories that allow me to live vividly. But the light of certain dreams began to dim and I stayed waiting. I have a really hard time letting things go.
This past year has been pushing me to grow up in a lot of ways. God dug up a lot of things that were buried down in my heart. There’s a lot of things I’ve had to come to terms with and let go. I even shared my testimony, which is something I’d never thought I’d publicly do. I asked God to remove things from my life and help me learn more about Him and how I fit in into His plans for me. It’s been a lot of learning. This whole new time in my life almost feels like a test to see if I can put what I learned into use.
Although I’m uneasy, I’m happy. I’m happy because this new season means I’m heading where God wants me to go. It’s been a while since I’ve felt content so I know God’s got this. I remember being in a season of dryness for so long wondering what God was even doing and just feeling so defeated in every way. For the first time I genuinely feel confident in where my relationship in God is and can trust His plan wholeheartedly. I no longer feel like I am constantly asking to feel redeemed, I can finally come to God and know His forgiveness is with me.
Not going to lie, I’m still nervous and a bit scared for what’s to come. But I’ve grown to the point where I can just rely on God on the good and bad times and at the end, He will come through. So I don’t know what to expect in this new season, but I am ready for it.
How do you deal with new seasons?